Sonic Colours, The Death of Sincerity, and the Cowardice of Being Too Cool for Your Own Premise

I've been playing Sonic Colours recently. I have a lot to say. The gameplay frankly sucks, but that's not what I'm here to discuss. No, I'm here to discuss the writing, and it's certainly interesting.

I am lucky, well, not really, because I’m here playing Sonic Colours, but I’m lucky in that I’ve long been obsessed with this franchise. I’ve played the games and watched nearly every animated series and movie. Because of that, I know everything about this is wrong. Colours isn't just a bad game that kicked off a ten-year-long rot and identity crisis, it’s all that, and it's on the Wii. That is worse because so many newcomers saw this as their first impression of the Blue Blur. How the hell was this game critically acclaimed?

The Lobotomization of Miles Prower

Tails has been lobotomized here, reduced from a modest, genius mechanic into a walking Wikipedia page. In Sonic Adventure, Tails earned his genius. He built the Tornado 2 and learned to be independent, ultimately saving Station Square from Eggman. He was a "mighty little man" growing into his own hero. In Adventure, the stakes felt personal because the characters had internal lives.

In Colours, the stakes are purely external data points on Miles' iPad. He’s been reduced to a Doctor House archetype, minus the actual personality. In House MD, House always knows the specific time it takes for a snake bite to kill a human, here, Tails is just a smug, overconfident, supercilious fountain of exposition regarding Wisps. He no longer exists as a character growing independently; he exists only to hold the "Translation Device", the ultimate "tell, don't show" narrative sin.

Meta-humour and the Loss of Agency

In one of the first cutscenes of the game, when Tails asks Sonic if they're going to "wreck" Eggman's plan, he replies:

"That's pretty much how we spend our time."

It's not particularly funny when you're guilty of the things you're mocking. Right off the bat, this line does two things wrong. It strips Sonic of his agency, turning a heroic act into "just another Tuesday," as if this is a low-stakes 90s sitcom.

There is nothing inherently wrong with self-deprecating humour or a tongue-in-cheek callout. The game tries to be one big joke about the Sonic franchise, and that is actually a decent premise. However, it fails because it doesn't just poke fun at the tropes; it acts like it's too good for them. For meta-humor to work, the writers have to actually love the thing they are poking fun at (like The LEGO Batman Movie), whereas here it feels like they are mocking it from the outside.

Tonal Whiplash and Miles' iPad

Tails mentions that Yacker (one of the main Wisps) was saying "save us" over and over again. "Save us" is not something you say in the same tone as "my coffee was bitter this morning." I presume it was more like screaming.

From this, we can deduce that the Wisps have thoughts, feelings, and communication skills similar to a human. Yes, there is a translator involved, but there isn't exactly a translator for dogs. These are sentient beings. Meanwhile, Eggman is using them for battery acid. Their life force (Hyper-go-on energy) is being extracted from them in tubes to power Eggman's mind-control thingamajig.

By giving Tails a translator, the writers removed the need for animation and empathy. It strips Yacker of all personality; he could have been the next Chip, but instead, he feels like a collectible that occasionally squeaks. He is a plot device trying to mimic Chip without understanding what made Chip work.

In Sonic Unleashed, Sonic and Chip bonded through shared experiences, eating chocolate and exploring. Chip had agency, fears, and a growth arc.

He was initially terrified of Sonic, but they became true friends, making his departure meaningful. In Colours, the "bond" is technical. Sonic and Tails stand there while Sonic talks condescendingly to Yacker and a black box tells them the plot.

The "save us" plea becomes a data point for Tails to relay, not a call to action that strikes a chord in Sonic's soul (which already doesn't exist in this game).

Here, it is a literal alien slavery operation where sentient beings are being drained of their souls to power a brainwashing beam. You’d think the writing would respect that weight. But nope, it’s just one big joke.

The game’s most famous quips are "Baldy McNosehair" and "No copyright law in the universe is going to stop me!" These might be "funny" in total isolation, but within the media itself, the Wisp situation is treated as a minor inconvenience for Sonic to make a remark about.

A supercillious hero and copyright law

I'd like to define a word I'll be using a lot: supercilious. Oxford Dictionary defines it as: "behaving or looking as though one thinks one is superior to others."

Earlier I called Tails supercilious, and he is, but so is the entire game. It looks down on itself and the franchise it came from. The characters essentially tear the world and immersion to bits, but the game doesn't actually dare to do anything to change the formula. If you find the concept of a blue cartoon hedgehog fighting a 300 IQ evil genius so unbelievably embarrassing that you have to poke fun at it with every chance you get, maybe do something to change it? There's a difference between a "fun adventure with high spirits" and "nothing matters, isn't this franchise embarrassing?"

There’s a difference between a "fun adventure with high spirits" and a vibe of "nothing matters, isn't this franchise embarrassing?" The writers admitted they didn't know much about Sonic lore. That’s fine, Sonic is often told in a myth-like fashion where every adventure is different. But there’s a difference between needing to learn and not even bothering to pull up a summary of previous games to understand the tone.

The irony is that I believe anyone can write Sonic, and I think saying this is extremely important. You don't need to be a walking encyclopedia of Mobian history, it’s a franchise with a mythic style of storytelling where the 'vibe' matters more than rigid continuity. In one game, the moon is blown in half, in the next, it’s fine. We accept that, and the franchise is better because of it.

To write or voice Sonic, you only need two things: a smallest ounce of enjoyment for the franchise, and sincerity. You have to understand that Sonic is about freedom, forward momentum, and choosing action over deliberation. That works in goofy contexts and serious ones alike, but only if you aren't constantly stopping to say 'pretty crazy, huh?

The "no copyright law" line especially shatters the immersion because it ignores the actual suffering of the Wisps in favor of a quip that doesn't even make sense in the context of their world. Sonic is a cartoon hedgehog who values being free over anything else (there is a whole song literally named "Free" in Sonic Free Riders). Why would he know, or even care, what copyright law is?

Sonic isn't a legal scholar or a bored writer in Los Angeles; he’s a force of nature. It's a joke that exists purely for the player, not for Sonic as a character. It's the writers speaking directly through Sonic to make a reference, completely shattering any sense that this is a coherent world with its own internal logic.

Sonic shouldn't know what copyright law is. He’s not breaking the fourth wall in a clever way; the writers are just using him as a mouthpiece. It turns Sonic from a character into a mascot suit. It doesn't belong in the mouth of a teenager who lives in a shack on a beach and fights gods. It shatters the verisimilitude of the world.

This tonal shift even affects how we perceive the voice. While almost anyone can 'be' Sonic if they capture that spirit, the Colours era lacks a certain maturity. It’s why a voice like Jaleel White’s worked for the zany 90s cartoons but would struggle here; for a story to have stakes, there has to be a grounded core. Without sincerity, the voice, and the character, loses its weight. He’s no longer a teenager who lives in a shack and fights gods, he’s a comedian doing a bit he’s already bored with.

Sincerity vs. Condescension

The thing about Sonic Adventure 2's story, I didn't even realize how insane it is until now. That is because it treats itself in a humble and sincere manner. It's just happening, and you're a witness to it. I call Colours' writing supercilious because that's exactly what it is. It is not humble, and it is certainly not sincere. It is looking down at the franchise and saying "Isn't this so dumb, guys?"

The writers seem ashamed and embarrassed that they are writing for Sonic. Every "quip" that breaks the fourth wall is a reminder that the people in charge of the character don't seem to like the character. You cannot have a "hero" who thinks heroism is a chore.

To be a Sonic fan in the mid-2000s required a certain level of sincerity. You had to care about Shadow’s past, or Blaze’s duty, the tragedy of the Ancients, and the history of the Babylonians. Colours tells you that you were a fool for doing so. It frames the player's investment as the punchline to a ten-year-long joke.

You can’t make a good story if you don't consider the foundation to be good. "Supercilious" is the perfect word because it's not just self-deprecation, it's condescension. The game looks down at its own premise, its history, and the masterpieces that previous writers created. Above all, it’s making fun of you for caring. In Colours, the "joke" is that you, the player, are still here. It’s a "meta" commentary that nobody asked for, delivered with a smugness that implies the writers are doing the franchise a favor by "fixing" it.

Maybe I’m just a fan and I’m overthinking it. Maybe Pontac and Graff are secret geniuses and I’ll end up having to eat my own shoe. But I don't think so. You can’t make a good story if you fundamentally don't want to engage with the world earnestly. Colours is the result of mistaking smugness for cleverness, a game that thinks the worst thing a player could possibly do is actually care.